They Said WHAT? Dealing With the Haters
All righty—I’m totally going to let you in on a little secret: there used to be a time when if you were going to say something mean to someone, you at least had to use a phone. But most of the time? It was right to your face. It was before we all lived, worked and breathed on the internet and social media. And yeah, I hate to admit it (because I’m pretty sure I’m only 22) but I remember it. Would I like to go back there? Heck no. I mean, I’ve certainly made the most of the amazing world of e-commerce, right? But you want to know what I do miss? Haters having to look you in the eye. So let's talk about dealing with haters on social media!
Social media has made it so freaking easy for people you don’t even know (and will probably never know) to be haters on social media. They say mean things about you without even thinking about it. And dang—it stings!
I’ve told a lot of people that I’m an introvert, and that’s why an e-commerce business was so perfect for me. I could make money from behind my screen. Nobody knew my name or what I looked like. They didn’t know my story or anything about my family.
When I decided to teach others how to do what I did, it was a big decision. I knew I’d have to kind of put myself out there. My husband and I also recognized that when I told people about my daughters’ success it would inspire a lot of people—and turn others into insta-critics who sent nasty-grams on a regular basis.
I don’t regret getting in front of a camera to help families just like ours start changing their financial future—even if it meant suddenly becoming the target of waaaaaaaay too many not-so-nice people. (Seriously. Not nice even a little bit.) And I came up with ways to deal with the Negative Nellie and Grumpy Gus haters on social media.
Tip #1: Just three words: 1-Delete, 2-and, 3-Block.
It really is that simple.
You see, there is a difference between constructive criticism and just downright rudeness. It’s okay for someone to say that they don’t like something about your presentation; for example, that you talk too fast or move your hands in a distracting way. They may feel a little hurtful, sure, but you can learn from them.
HOWEVER…if someone says things that aren’t helpful, are distasteful or are downright abusive, you don’t need to have them be a part of your world. There is no requirement that you allow them to rant, vent or be snide—in fact, you have the right to delete their comments and then block them from contacting you. Hit the button, tap the screen…just wave goodbye to them and move on.
I have 5 more tips (and maybe one little surprise!) that I’ve put together to help you deal with the haters, critics and not-so-nice folks out there. They’re all tried and true techniques that I’ve used myself, and I trust that they’ll help you too.
Tip #2: Respond With Love
It's okay to respond back nicely. Let's be honest, we don't know what hardships they might be dealing with. Being positive back can make a huge difference in how they feel about you (and about life in general.)
Tip #3: Hire an Online Bodyguard
We've talked about times that it makes sense to hire people to help you with different tasks, right? Well, dealing with haters is kinda one of them. Bring on someone you trust to monitor your social media and decide when to respond, when to allow your die-hard fans to handle it and when to remove a post altogether. When you do it yourself, you can get hurt feelings, become angry or start thinking thoughts about you that are not true. You don't need all that negative energy. Online bodyguard. You need one.
Tip #4: Hide or Ignore Comments
Your page = your rules. If someone makes a comment that is untrue or just meant to be disrespectful, you get to either ignore or hide the comment. Oh, and another thing? I suggest going to the settings for your Facebook business page using the page moderation feature and profanity filter to block certain words from ever being able to make it on your page.
Tip #5: Respond in a Sincere Way
Have you ever had someone say something that's kind of mean or a little passive-aggressive…and you realize that they're kind of right? Oh! I hate that! Dang it! But when it's happened to me and I've answered them back acknowledging what they said and thanking them for pointing out something I can improve on, the results can be crazy good. Or maybe I just don't hear back from them. Either way, it's awesome.
Tip #6: Remember They're Behind a Screen
Our screens (and how we use them) honestly distort reality. For some people, that means only showing all of those “perfect” Martha Stewart-inspired moments. For others, it means saying the rudest, meanest things when they're behind a screen even though they'd never, ever, in a bajillion years, say them to you in person. Try your best not to take it personally or waste a second longer on it.
Tip #7: Don't Take Their Load
Hate is a heavy load, and it's not your job or responsibility to carry it for any other person. If someone comes at you with hate, turn away. Walk away. Their hate is their deal. Your focus gets to be on the goodness of creating a joyful life, a successful business and something that you can be proud of. Haters don't get to weigh you down.
I've even got a pretty list about dealing with haters on social media. Just click that link and you'll get the download right in Messenger!
In the meantime, promise me that you’ll look for the cheerleaders out there, the ones who are ready to celebrate with you as you’re building your business. And always, always, always be willing to cheer for yourself.