Could you be lying to yourself?
You're sitting in your chair, looking at your computer or your phone. You have 10 bajillion things you need to do and you don't even know where to start.
And then, these thoughts start to creep in your head, like, “Oh, I have so much to do. I don't even know where to start” or “I'm not smart enough” or “I'm not sure I can even do that,” or “I need to go get a Coke Zero” or insert your beverage of choice “before I can even get started”. Or “Sure they can do it, but I'm just me and I'm not that good. I don't even really know how to do this. Maybe I should just look into this more and study it a little bit more,” or “They can do it better than I can.”
Ever had that happen?
Some call them fear or excuses, but I call them big huge fat lies that our brain makes up to keep us comfortable. It's a brilliant way that our brain tricks us into staying “safe”. It's a lot easier to stay where you are than to move forward. Moving forward, trying new things, can be so risky, and our brain is made to keep us safe – it's just how we are wired.
We know it is so much easier to go get that drink out of the fridge because it's not going to make us feel like a failure.
So we push off the hard things and do the safe things.
It's almost like these thoughts run rapid in our brains on a daily basis, and it causes us to stop and spiral quickly.
All the same, deep down, you have this feeling inside of you that you can't as shake, that you are not where you want to be in this life. So, how do you nudge yourself into moving forward? That’s what I’ll be talking about in this episode.
Click play above or head here to listen on your favorite app to learn the 5 things to make sure you are moving forward today!
- When our brain takes us to the worst case scenario faster than we realize ([5:45])
- Lies you’re falling back on are much stronger than the promises of hope ([6:41])
- Knowing the truth from a lie: Things that have helped me and my students ([7:39])
- Number one: Recognize it; call that dang thing out ([8:05])
- Number two: Have an answer so you can anticipate it ([9:40])
- Number three: If you give into the lie, be honest with yourself ([11:37])
- Number four: Build your tool belt; embrace the hiccups and the trips ([12:38])
- Number five: Go for a run or a walk ([13:22])
- Allow yourself to step into who you need to be, and to set fear aside ([15:03])
00:00 Some call them fear or excuses, but I call them big huge fat lies that our brain makes up to keep us comfortable. It's a brilliant way that our brain tricks us into staying safe. It's a lot easier to stay where you are than to move forward. Moving forward, trying new things, can be so risky, and our brain is made to keep us safe.
00:28 Hey, you're listening to "Because I Can" podcast, where we believe we can decide our own income, choose happiness, kick fear in the teeth, and never, ever stop. Why? Because we can. I'm your host, Alison J Prince, and I went from being a junior high science teacher to building four online multi-million dollar businesses, with four kids, at my feet. Each week, I'm bringing you real conversations that have led me as well as other experts to step into our dream online business lifestyle, so that you can get the answers you need to prep your "Because I can" as well. Take that first step and commit now to your "Because I can" life by downloading your free personal bundle at BecauseICanLife.com/bundle
01:13 Okay, so you're sitting there in your chair, looking at your computer or your phone and you have like 10 bajillion things you need to do and you don't even know where to start and then these thoughts start to creep in your head like, "Oh, I have so much to do. I don't even know where to start" or "I'm not smart enough" or "I'm not sure I can even do that," or "I need to go get a Coke Zero" or insert your beverage of choice "before I can even get started". Or "Sure they can do it, but I'm just me and I'm not that good. I don't even really know how to do this. Maybe I should just look into this more and study it a little bit more," or "They can do it better than I can." But deep down, you have this feeling inside of you that you can't as shake, that you are not where you want to be in this life.
01:59 You know, you want to do more, create more, be more, but can't seem to ever get anything accomplished today. So did you notice a theme from up above? Some call them fear or excuses, but I call them big huge fat lies that our brain makes up to keep us comfortable. It's a brilliant way that our brain tricks us into staying safe. It's a lot easier to stay where you are than to move forward moving forward. Trying new things can be so risky and our brain is made to keep us safe. Heck, we know it is so much easier to go get that drink out of the fridge because it's not going to make us feel like a failure, right? So we push off the hard things and do the safe things. It's almost like these thoughts run rapid in our brains on a daily basis and it causes us to stop and spiral quickly.
02:50 Right. The other day I was listening to a podcast ad from someone I know I should have written down their name, but I didn't and they said that we have 60,000 thoughts a day and three-fourths of those 60,000 thoughts are negative. If I could, this is where I would insert a gasp sound here. Those stats are frightening. If we had someone tell us something negative 45,000 times a day, well that would be over the top, right. Hey, I know on social, if someone says one bad thing about me, it hurts my soul, but 45,000 and we do this to ourselves day in and day out, we are seriously all in need of some major kindness to ourselves. Anyway, the other day started to feel the one about so much on my list and I didn't know where to start, so I went for a run to see if I could run it out or maybe just even run away from it.
03:52 At the time. It was pretty much a toss-up. Now on this run, it was getting dusk outside. I thought I'd just go for a short run before it got dark. I was full of anxiousness about all the things and knew around would help me burn it off and clear my head. I was running faster than normal and I felt the weight of all the things disappear behind me with each step. There's something there, a Putin for me about running now living on this magnificent island of Puerto Rico. It's a beautiful Island, but safety really isn't its strong suit, especially at night. My neighbor told me that you actually don't even stop at red lights at night. You slow down but you don't wait until it turns green. So back to the run. I was so lost in the moment of running, I didn't notice that it was getting dark outside and before long I realized there was no way I was going to make a home before dark when the darkness of the situation and where I was hit me, I looked up and I saw a man behind some bushes.
04:50 On the side of the trail that I was headed on. I was freaked out to say the least. I started to sweat. I can feel the adrenaline of the fight or flight kick in. My speed picked up dramatically. In fact, I don't think I've ever run that fast in my life to find out that it was just a branch from a tree slightly moving from the almond breeze. My brain skipped all logical thought processes to keep me safe. Yes, I'm so grateful for that, but it made up this story that went to the worst-case scenario as fast as possible. It ruled out the fact that other people were on the trail as well or that it was next to a busy road or even that I live in a gated community that is one of the safest spots on the Island and security cars are constantly patrolling the area, not the ideal place for a predator to hang out my brain throughout all reasoning in an instant and went to the extreme.
05:45 Now I do understand that things can happen and the brain's job is to keep us safe, but this was on the extreme case. I was fine. My point being is that sometimes our brain takes us to the worst-case scenario faster than we can even realize it. Think of all the times you wanted to try something or you are in the middle of something in your brain, filled it with these irrational in lies and then it started to spiral out of control and you become frozen. You stop, you retreat and this happens way too often. Think about the times you wanted to start a business or start putting your voice out into the world more, but your brain or members of the last time you started an MLM or a direct marketing company product and didn't sell the products and you feel like you failed or that time you opened a booth at a craft shown is filled with all your handmade products, but you didn't sell any.
06:41 And the disappointment you saw in your husband's face as you sacrificed time away from him and your family to make it big and you feel like you're a disappointment. But what of the MLM experience at multilevel marketing, direct marketing experience was to teach you that you shouldn't be working for someone else and that the product that you thought was kinda cool, you actually just weren't really passionate about it. What if that bell, your of selling in a craft show was actually telling you that you shouldn't be wasting your time setting up a booth and to take it online for the sanity of your family, but the lies you are falling back on are so much stronger than the promises of hope that are being delivered to you over the last 10 years of running business. I think I've felt all the fears and the lies and they don't go away.
07:39 In fact, I think they actually get deeper. But what I have learned is how to know if it's the truth or if it's a lie. And I want to show you how you can separate them faster so that you can push the lies aside and step into the person that you were meant to be. And I want to share the five things that have not only helped me but have helped my students as well. All right, so let's dive into it. Number one, recognize it. Call that dang thing out. Ask yourself, is what I'm thinking truth or am I just making up lies around? It is one of those 45,000 negative thoughts running rampant in my head. A lie has way more power if it subtly works in the background over and over and over digging at you each time. So what I want you to do is think of one of those negative thoughts that you've had today.
08:37 Here's an example. Was it? I'm so Oh as you walked in front of the mirror today or was it, I'm just not smart enough to grow my business? Just these subtle little punches to the gut and up leaving you hurt each and every time you want to stand up and move forward. Now I'm not saying to make it some super positive, fluffy thought like if I walked by a mirror right now, looked at myself and said hot stuff with a whistle, my brain would spiral quickly into saying that I'm a liar. So maybe start with something neutral, like I've been blessed with a healthy body. That's truth and I can accept that. Or let's go into the one about, I'm not smart enough to grow my business. Switch it to something you can believe like, I haven't learned this yet and I'm interested in learning more, or I'm at a new stage in my business that I've never been at before and I'm willing to take some time to learn more about it.
09:40 Okay, then this one is a biggie. What about the one about how someone else can do better than you? What have you said instead? Hmm. If they can do it, so can I allowing it to be inspiration versus comparison? How can you take just one of those thoughts rattling around in your head today and neutralize it? Just one. This second one, have an answer so you can anticipate it. What if I had an answer to sing that so-called man in the distance in the bushes, and what if I would've shouted out and said, I see you and I'm calling the cops. Now it would have given me back my power versus letting my power slip away into the extreme. Right? What if you took some time to arm yourself with answers about some of the things that can happen in your business? For example, one of my products don't sell.
10:40 Then what? Maybe the response can be, well I'll just change the pictures or the pricing or the description and I'll try it again. Instead of your brain going down that dark hole thinking that you've lost everything and you're going to go bankrupt. Right. Do you see how our brain just spirals down to negativity so quickly? But if we can answer those questions first, it can stop. Our brain doesn't need to freak out. Another one. What if an influencer doesn't email me back? Your answer could be they're probably just busy and maybe they won't do justice for my product, so I'm just going to try another one. And what about this one? This one actually hits really close to home because I've done it. What if I sent out an email that has a big mistake in it and it says hashtag name hashtag instead of my customer's actual name?
11:37 Yes. And if you want to know the details on it and went out to a list of 120,000 people and I had to decide what to do, I could have stewed and thought about all the negativity that I was going to get around it or I could pretend it never and then fix it for next time and honestly that's what I chose to do. I couldn't go back and email and correct all those emails that I had sent out. I just decided to make sure it didn't happen for the next time. Have some answers. Plan out on how you will attack it to keep the worst-case scenario at Bay numero trace. Yes, I am trying to learn Spanish K if you give in to the lie, be honest with yourself. Does it make your life better or are you right where you left off? Will studying, even more, help you move forward or should you really just start implementing the work?
12:34 Be honest with yourself where you're at currently. Number four, build your tool belt. Imagine how boring any story would be if the hero had zero issues. If they were just handed the beautiful end goal, we'd all fall asleep, right? Box office blockbusters would be non-existent. Life's the same way. If it were easy, we'd become bored. We wouldn't get to fill our hard work and success. Phil's like, and it's a very sweet taste. That beautiful end goal would have no value. Embrace the hiccups, the trips. I remember how we all loved Forrest Gump, his struggles, his box of chocolates were why we loved his character. Let your struggles be, my people, love you. The number five goes for a run where it's light outside and there are no scary trees that look like creepy humans. I know that running and out of me helps tremendously working until you are physically exhausted.
13:36 If you don't like to work out, well, guess what? Neither do I, but I know the benefit outweighs the other, so get your tush moving even if it's just a walk around the block. Now Emily, one of my students, posted a little bit ago about how she used the first one, the "recognize it" strategy. She said that she had so many doubts and dark thoughts in the beginning of her business journey, but she decided to look at others as inspiration versus going down the path of lies of comparison. She went on to build her business and pay for her Disney cruise and full because she stepped up and decided she was going to go live her "Because I can" life. Her journey has been so thrilling and fun to watch and she is now well over the six-figure mark. Okay, so of these five and let's just recap.
14:26 Number one, recognize it, two, have an answer so you can anticipate it. Numero Tres, do you like my little twirl on the 'r'... working on that... If you give in to the lie, be honest with yourself. Number four, build your tool belt and number five, go for a run. So of these five, which one will you use today? I only want you picking one of the things today that is going to help you move forward. These things will literally help you move forward in your business, in your life, today. I'm challenging you right now, right now to allow yourself to step into who you need to be today by giving yourself permission to set fear aside, but I want you to tell me in the comments below which one of those five that you will be using today because I cannot wait to read them.
15:19 Oh, that was so much fun. Thank you so much for listening to the Because I Can podcast. If you haven't already downloaded the Because I Can bundle, then head over to alisonprince.com/bundle, the only place you can get access to your personalized bundle, so head over there now and download it. I look forward to you joining and next time on the Because I Can Life podcast. We'll see you then.